Owen Ray
As I reflect on the 21st Anniversary of 9/11 and the impact this tragic event had on my life, it changed the very fabric of the military as well as those who served and their families. The sacrifice and cost to those serving and their families is both not well understood nor is shared by the rest of society. War is and should be an aberration – anything but normal, in which there is an expectation of sacrifice by a society. This war was both the longest in American history yet with less cost and burden to the society. The burden was and continues to be on those who fought it and their families.
Prior to 9/11, I spent three years assigned to the 82nd Airborne Division as a platoon leader, company executive officer and finally the battalion adjutant. It was a highly competitive unit with high standards – you had to be Ranger qualified to lead a platoon as well as pass Jumpmaster school and become a senior rated parachutist by the time you made 1st Lieutenant. We trained hard, conducting airborne and live fire exercises routinely. We often parachuted onto a drop zone 12 miles away and walked back with every weapon and communication system assigned to the platoon. We focused and had the time to refine the basics, to learn our profession as well as had the time to lead, mentor and develop our Soldiers. Our training and exercise schedule was predictable as well as balanced. We spent most the week out in the field training but was home most every night by 6pm and on weekends. I could meet my wife for lunch at her school or to lunch with fellow platoon leaders.
We had the time to honor traditions, our linage and those who came before us with ceremonies and rights of passage like the infamous “prop blast” and All American Week for those familiar with the 82nd Airborne Division. Every week we played sports together, attended training and professional development as well as social gatherings with battalion leadership. We had the time to invest in ourselves, our cohesion and our families.
Back then, we had only a handful of Soldiers with “combat patches” a distinction that indicated you had been deployed to war. The 82nd combat patch was highly sought after and as all young Soldiers, we wanted to be tested as those before us. I remember a senior leader telling us, you will get your chance, every generation does.
Be careful what you ask for.
I had just returned from physical training and was watching the news while eating breakfast when 9/11 happened. I was angry as many others were but anxious to do my part in a war I knew was coming. I attended Special Forces selection on October 1st, 2001, the first class following 9/11. Casualties began to mount and war became real. First it was a friend and fellow officer from my battalion in the 82nd Airborne who was severely wounded and his Team Sergeant killed by a motorcycle ladened improvised explosive device in the Philippines in 2002. Then came close friends and classmates from the Special Forces Qualification Course, unit members and my own Soldiers. I don’t remember attending a wedding this last 20 years but have been to more funerals than I can count. I remember how we had to learn what to do when we had a casualty. Prior to 9/11, it was a rare occurrence and usually an accident. Over time, we became very good at casualty response and unit memorials. Over the next 20 years, our nation would lose 7,057 soldiers to combat across the world. Not only in Afghanistan, Iraq and Syria but other, less known fronts of the war in Africa, the Philippines and Colombia.
The Global War on Terror (GWOT) now dictated our schedule and our lives, especially in special operations. We lost any aspect of predictability and normalcy as we reacted to the enemy and our national strategy – both of which changed constantly. In some cases we had literally weeks from notice to deployment and deployments would change in terms of time and location. As we scrambled to meet war requirements, we set up ad hoc units and task forces that destroyed unit cohesion. At any given time, we had numerous Soldiers tasked away as “Individual Augmentees” and I personally deployed as an individual on three of my six combat deployments, two of which were both nearly a year in length.
The GWOT was priority #1, always and your ability to maintain any sense of balance between your unit and family requirements was destroyed. In war and when there is the risk of losing people, mission and unit take precedence – it is expected and required. Army leadership would talk the need for balance but it only pointed to an unobtainable goal and exacerbated guilt from not being there for you family. I spent my 30th and 40th birthdays in Afghanistan, Christmas and numerous holidays, kid’s birthdays and so many other critical life events were spent deployed.
There was little to no escape from the GWOT. Unlike previous wars, we had the technology to always be plugged in as well as had geographically dispersed forces fighting simultaneously around the world. At one point, I commanded a Task Force across Asia while having a special forces battalion in Afghanistan and a company in Syria. I also reported to commands in Ft. Bragg, N.C., Hawaii and Iraq and Afghanistan. Global war transcends time zones and any aspect of normalcy in your life. In war, everything becomes critical – even the mundane and routine now become critical and you lack any sense of prioritization and balance. Every training cycle, deployment, meeting…all are become no fail, especially to leaders. In Special Forces, you are selected and promoted by your performance and that you don’t fail. When you are willing to sacrifice your life for the mission, it becomes fairly easy to sacrifice everything else for mission and the unit. This type of sacrifice and cost can be acceptable in the short term – for a deployment, a year..a few years but 20 years? Cortisone shots, pain killers, alcohol abuse, mental deterioration, family separation and relationship stress..just some of the cost to this long war.
Longest war in American history and the full cost to those that fought, their families and to our society is not understood nor even yet known. This war hardly impacted most of American life outside of dealing with TSA at the airport. It was clear when we lost four Soldiers in Niger when Senators and Congressmen were angry that they did not even know we had forces there and what they were doing. This is also the case for Benghazi which this year is the 10th Anniversary of the deaths of Ambassador Stevens, Sean Smith, Tyrone Woods, and Glen Doherty. I was on duty in the White House as well as at Andrews Air Force Base when they brought their remains home and was embarrassed at our national response and candor about what happened.
There was and continues to be a disconnect between the war and those that serve and our society. We have agreed to turn a blind eye as long as the war stays “over there” but that is just not reality. The impact of war is now walking our streets, trying to manage the best they can. Although we lost over 7,000 Soldiers to combat it is estimated that we have lost over 30,000 military and veterans to suicide https://watson.brown.edu/costsofwar/ and the latest data from the Army Suicide Prevention Office shows more suicides in 2021 than any other year since the Sept. 11 attacks.